August 03, 2017

Fear the day when those kind hearts finally give up

From the moment she met him, she knew she was going to fall for him. He looked so innocent and gentle. However the moment he started talking, all those first impressions were shattered. He was so not innocent. He was rude but at the moment she didn’t care. She was enjoying his beautiful eyes, his eyebrows that almost form a line from one corner of the eye to another one.
She was broken when she met him. For a moment, he could make all the pain go away. He told her stories that she didn’t even understand because she’s too busy enjoying his eyes. They got along.

They talked almost every day. She knew him more and more and she wished she didn’t know some sides of him so that she would keep admiring him. It turned out he was so broken, he was sick inside out, he didn’t like himself, he gave up on life. Those things about him really hurt her. Deep down inside, she wanted to help him so bad because she knew exactly what he felt, but she was afraid, she kept asking herself “is it worth it?”.Yet she stayed.
She eventually fell in love with him, but fear still won. She tried so hard to make the feeling go away. She didn’t want to feel love because it’s too soon for her. Too soon because her heart had just been broken before. She was so afraid. Afraid of getting hurt again. Afraid that it’s not going to work out again. She was afraid to take the responsibility. She was afraid she couldn’t fix him.
Regardless, she felt comfortable to be around him. After all what she’d been through, she needed someone like him, someone carefree. Things were so confusing especially after he finally said he loved her. She wanted to be with him, but not in the way that included hard feelings. She liked hearing his stories with other girls but not their stories. She liked him and she didn’t want to go any further.
One time, he finally convinced her that he loved her. She finally believed. However, actions speak louder than words.Later she found out he was just saying that because at the moment he felt empty, lonely, he didn’t mean it. She should’ve known. She shouldn't have let her guards down. She regret believeing him. She knew he was a liar, a player. Hell he said it himself he was a player. She had faith in him, that’s why she believed.

Later he told her who he truly was. He said he wasn’t normal. He said he was gay and that he always had it in him and he finally fully accepted it. He loved someone like him or at least that’s what he said. She knew he was lying. She knew he was seeing another woman.She knew why he didn’t just come clean to her, that’s because he didn’t want to lose her, he needed her attention, but not her heart. Yet she pretended to not knowing. She didn’t give a single fuck anymore. She’s done.She gave up on him.

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